Monthly Archives: June 2014

I’ve decided to completely bag agumentive communication…


It was just a source of frustration for Danny.

Danny decided when he was two that he would sign with us to communicate what he needed.

Unfortunately the rest of the world doesn’t sign.

So we decided to introduce an ipad to teach Danny to communicate to the rest of the world.

All it did was shut down the signing.

And increase his frustration.

You know what?

He stopped talking to all of us.

That’s too steep a price to pay.

We have spent the last couple of days reiterating over and over that we do understand him. All he has to do is talk to us and we will come up with a plan that we all can live with.

For example….

Instead of swimming at the north ranch pool, we are back at the community center one and have asked permission to swim through the “adult swims”

There is always a solution.

We just need to get back into the habit of talking through it.

And the first step is reminding Danny that the way to accomplish it is to not loose his temper with us first thing….but to talk to us.

We listen.

We understand.


“This bar fling has gotten way out of hand….”


Are the words Hugh said to me this time of day exactly eighteen years ago to calm me down as we stood in the front of the church….


He has always known the exact right thing to say.



Kate wonders how we ever got together in the first place as we are so different.

We compliment each other.

He grounds me….and I make sure he has fun.

Just your regular ordinary summer day…again….


It started off quietly.


We saw this guy just hanging out at Kate’s bff’s house.


I picked the girls up and off to the pool we went…

Danny decided he would rather hit the playground.


Unfortunately we couldn’t do both as the storms rolled in early…


Since the Acura was in the shop, I took the jeep to Costco…. I have learned that I don’t get wet as long as the jeep is moving.


Jillian was a doll and hung out so she could run Danny and I to the shop to pick up my car…. He decided he really liked her hat.


It’s been a tough six months on the Acura….I smashed it in February, it was in desperate need of brakes…. But finally it have my car back.

As much fun as the jeep is to drive, my Acura is better for our day to day stuff.


Just a regular quiet ordinary gotta get stuff done kind of day.


A hug from a complete stranger….


A strange thing happened at the pool today.

A lady I didn’t know (can’t believe that’s possible on this neighborhood anymore by the way) walks up to me and asks me if I’m mom.

I had just gotten d in the pool. He swam with me for a bit happy as a clam and I had just passed him off to Jillian.

Anyway, this nice lady I had never met before asked if she could hug me. That she felt so incredibly blessed to be in the vicinity of us. And what an amazing job I was doing with him. I was struck speechless as she gave me a hug and moved on about her day.

Kate and I talked about it after.

How people react to d.

Some times in a positive way.

Sometimes in a negative way.

They always react.

And by extension- me.

The either can’t believe that he’s not in a place better equipped to handle kids like him or I’m somehow a saint.

That’s just weird mom, Kate says.

I said, tell me about it….

But apparently my life so moved a complete stranger she felt compelled to give me a hug and comment on the love she saw between a momma and her boy.


Poor d….


Sometimes d gets so frustrated.

I know he’s feeling tired.

I know that his muscles hurt.

But sometimes, momma is going to make you work through it.

Because nothing gets Danny ready to face winter than a summer full of swimming.

And we absolutely need to face our winters being as strong as we can be.

I’m sure, if you are local, you heard the arguing Danny and I had in the car driving thru the valley to the North Ranch pool. And the melt down continued as we changed into our swimming suits.

But, as much as I respect all forms of communication, there will be times that I need him to fight through the tired and pain so he can get strong.

It sucks.

For him.

For his sister.

But also for me.

Don’t be fooled, I hate having to fight him like this.

I hate watching his frustration.

I hate how tired and sore he must be because he is arguing about doing one of his favorite things in the world.

But, we are in the pool.

And building strength.


At least for as long as he can stand it today.

And we will be back here again tomorrow.

Even if it involves another melt down.